Lived Experience Forum

[Maggie]

@Sophia1  Forgot to add the pic. 💜💜

[Sophia1]

Thank you @Maggie @Eucalypt @Former-Member @Adge @TAB @Shaz51 @MDT @eth @frog @Exoplanet @Owlunar @Appleblossom @outlander 

and all others who have thought of me.

I am not sure if you realise how much it means to come back after time out (sound like a naughty child)

and find support.

Thank you all.

I am not in a good place....Gosh how many times am I saying that lately or possibly for the majority of my two years on these forums...

and am going to start a new thread.

There probably is one about somewhere.

I will do a quick search and if I find something, respond there or if I feel another would be of benefit to others and yes I must start to say myself also ...then so be it...

I feel so unsafe...mistrusting ...yet at the same time needing to reach out...I have also been talking to helplines.

I do not want to lay heavy feelings on you all so will see how far I can venture..

Sophia1

[Shaz51]

and am going to start a new thread.---- please tag me my awesome friend @Sophia1 

you mean soo much to me xoxo

[Appleblossom]

Gentle Hugs and Walks and Cups of Tea as needed. @Sophia1 

Grieving can be so complicated ....

@Former-Member @outlander @Maggie have been GodSends for me ...

[Adge]

(((( @Sophia1 ))))

That mean Hugs....

Adge

[Sophia1]

ps

I have just read over my previous post and it reads to me, at least, that I will be no longer writing on here..

That is not my intention at all

I strongly believe that living with ourselves is paramount to managing our mind struggles ...

also in writing about such helping others hopefully deal with their own huge issues..

then again I have been editing and deleting the majority of my posts since I first landed on these forums in total chaos..

I am now announcing that I do not care any more if I am mad...that I will continue to be mad...if that is who I am..

So there..with raspberries...

I actually said this to my therapist today..

colourful hearts to you all and all others with whom I have related...

many now missing which saddens me..

at the same time gives me hope that they have found the support they needed here and moved on...

taken a different path in their journey for a life with compassion ...

love to you all who have moved on from here...

[outlander]

please tag me to your new thread if/when you create one @Sophia1 and im really glad you've been reaching out offline. please keep reaching out here too. whenever and wherever you like I know when we are struggling we often hide away, but the forum and all your friends are here for you. sneidng much love and hugs. here and listening if you feel ok sharing what is happening thats contributing to being a not so good place ❤❤❤❤

[TAB]

good to see you @Sophia1 

[Sophia1]

And here you are responding instantaneously...

what more could a person ask for...

thank you from the bottom of my heart as always..

@Adge 

I did read your post on the worry room part..

That would have been devastating for you...

I dont want to say too much as I might get it wrong, certainly not the first time responding in my passionate mode..

I can reiiterate that you have every right to feel as you do and I say to you...do not doubt yourself or question your reaction..

this situation is about the perpetrator not you..

You are a wonderful, kindhearted, caring, loving soul who has no further connection with this person..

This person cannot hurt you anymore...

You do not owe any emotional feelings ....

this person is over..this person cannot manipulate you any further..

My new thread runs at a parallel with these feelings...

Adge I believe in you, think that you are incredibly strong, brave, intelligent, loving and are so very worthwhile and loveable..

Sophia 

[Adge]

Thanks muchly @Sophia1 I wouldn't mind if you got anything wrong.

I loved it when you said So there...with rasberries...(that's a classic).

An excellent reminder thanks Sophia1 - as I doubt myself very much.

Being disbelieved & not supported by my other closer relatives has worn my self-confidence down (re: clear abuse recollections).

The perpetrator (my cousin) is a narcissist - it is always all about him - he is in total denial about anything & everything that he did - both to me & also to at least one of my younger brothers.

Sadly my brother is in denial, it must be too painful for him to remember it - he won't let me talk about it.

Thank you Sophia1 - by the end of today (when M abuser phoned), I was thinking thinking "How much more can a Koala Bear" (pardon pun).

Very ground down.

Adge