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Looking after ourselves

Community Guide

Talking aout LOVE

Hello Everyone ;'

We ( carers have a good discussion about LOVE in the thread called

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness


First question coming up, might as well throw in a hard one. Do you find with the ups and downs that tenderness can be a casualty.

Talking about the gentle touches on the arm or hair (not bedroom activity).Still get hugs but miss these other intimate gestures.

I like the  comment that we cant love someone back to health (doesn't stop me trying)

My problem is I keep feeling responsible for fixing things.

But I must say that Love has changed my hubby over the years , He has changed over the years Smiley Happy

While our circumstances are very different, at the end of the day I think we all want to feel loved.

Even though love cannot cure a mental illness,
it can create an atmosphere of safety where someone has more opportunity to heal and grow. (This of course requires insight).

While we cant fix someone by loving them love creates an environment that enables them to help themselves.

That's all we can try to do ....

What Do you think My Friends HeartHeart

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Re: Talking aout LOVE

Hi @Shaz51

It is true what you say that loving someone "creates the environment for healing, enabling the sufferer to help themselves". This was exactly my situation.

Without my husbands love and support I could not have healed. I wouldn't be here. I could not do it on my own.

As every living thing needs nurturing love to grow and survive - from infancy to old age.

As much as abuse, unkindness, anger, malice and hatred can harm us - love can heal us.

When being loved it is telling us that we are valued and worthy of life - telling us that "there is a point" giving us something to get up for - purpose. It eases the soul destroying loneliness. It picks us up when we are down and can sometimes be the only light in the darkness showing us the way out. 💕

Re: Talking aout LOVE

sending you hugs my friend @Former-Member HeartHeart

Makes a big difference in our lives xoxo

Hello @Mazarita Smiley LOL

Re: Talking aout LOVE

As a dude, trust does make a difference, but you can express trust in walking/talking/conversation/doing more things/having more energy around them/being creative. Even if it doesn't work out or go to plan.

Re: Talking aout LOVE

Hello @SGde3a and welcome to the forum xx

trust does make a difference, ohhh yes , You need trust and Love to carry on in life

@SGde3a, @Former-Member, what things do you enjoy ?? walking ,reading , swimming

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Re: Talking aout LOVE

Trust does make all the difference @SGde3a Without that we will not open up ourselves to truly love anyone or anything. It's then just existing. 

@Shaz51 - I love to walk along the beach. I come alive when near the water or walking through a beautiful garden and/or rainforest. But most of all I enjoy laughing and meeting people. I like to listen to people who need an ear and a smile - I enjoy their company as equals. I love to read a good book and watch a high suspence movie.

I use to love acting and performing on stage but have not done so for years. I enjoy writing and making documentaries.

I love to create beautiful scenes and images through cross-stitch, embroidery and beading. Have nearly completed a huge project. Will post it here when finished.

I enjoy spending time with my husband and best friend and workmates.

But most of all I enjoy inner peace and outer peace when I have it. Something most look for but few obtain. That's the ultimate euphoria that I have experienced in parts of my life 💕

What do you enjoy @Shaz51?


Re: Talking aout LOVE

@Shaz51, I enjoy everything... I used to do a lot of meditation (sitting with no thoughts) which is the same as drilling boredom basically (and boredom with a smile is contentment), but I dont go super sad if I'm not doing something I really like. Driving is really relaxing for me.

Re: Talking aout LOVE

That sounds lovely @Former-Member xx

I love the rainforest , swimming in the creeks

I love sitting in the camp chairs with our legs in the water , holding hands with my hubby in the rainforest -- have to do it more often xx

Hello @SGde3a, how are you today Heart

Re: Talking aout LOVE

Hi @Former-Member

How are you today?

I just wanted to say how encouraging your  comments here were, it was a good reminder that loving my darlingdoes make a diffrence. Sometimes I do wonder 😟  Mostly when I get run down and loose sight of the big picture. So thankyou, always good to here feedback like this 😊


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Re: Talking aout LOVE

Hi @Determined

It was good to hear from you again - I had been wondering how you were going. How is your wife now?

You would be making a tremendous difference to helping your wife through your love and support - sometimes depression can consume the sufferer so we can't always see that difference. But she would be much worse off without you and deep down she loves and appreciates you for being there - just can't always express it.

I am not too bad today considering. My husband has just recently discovered he has a suspected malignant tumour on his kidney and he already suffers prostrate cancer, so we have a challenge ahead. Further investigation under general anaesthetic will be conducted next Tuesday. So it's hard going at the moment but our hope, faith and love for each other should see us through.

Hope your day is a good one  🙂

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