Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[JoJo99]

@Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51@Former-Member @Former-Member@Former-Member

this has been a great eye opener for me, the forum. I find it really helps. Everybody's burdens are so big. The past 2 weeks have been really confusing for me, I was really happy to change everything and move my daughter back home for company for me and her. But, maybe it's not the right thing to go forward with. Maybe I have to heal myself first and not bring more problems under my roof. Daughter has been in crisis this past week and yesterday I have to say was the worst. Do I put her with me, or do I continue to do it all from 3 streets away.  Her support worker is also working closely with me and we are trying to help her be happy in life. Everytime I start picking up, I crash down again with her daily struggle. It's so confusing, both of us now have depression, who do I help first?  Me or do I put her first as usual? Has anyone heard on a companion mental health worker?  This is what was suggested at her appointment at the hosp on Friday. We had great success for 2 years working with her mental health nurse, why change what worked before?

So confused

[soul]

Hi @JoJo99, it's hard to know what the right thing to do is. Do you have your daughter live with you or not?? Maybe it's a case of trial and error but wouldn't we love to have the crystal ball so we could make the right decision in the first place. 

We all have our own story dealing with someone with mental illness and in the process often acquire one ourselves. Hope it's of some comfort that you have people here who care and will read your problems.

By the way, I love that you share anecdotes about your dogs. 

[Shaz51]

Hello @soul , it's hard to know what the right thing to do is., I agree

no @JoJo99 daughter lives 3 streets away

[JoJo99]

thank you @soul I need that crystal ball !! wouldn't we love one. But then I suppose we wouldn't get the chance to learn and to help others 😛

[JoJo99]

@Shaz51 I think it will need to be 3 streets away for sanity's sake

[Shaz51]

yes @JoJo99

I find it hard to get a balance , if i am calm and relaxed , my hubby is ok ,but You can`t be like that all the time , we all have our ups and down days

[ritawilson]

You deserve a medal. I helped with my sister's care from a distance, which was very frustrating. I now care for her son, now aged 30, with schizophrenia too. He lives in a flat with people coming in daily to check up on him. He lives a few blocks away. I try to do lots of things for me- I play piano and in a band, and volunteer at a nursing home playing and singing, and take my dog for pats...My husband is on dialysis, but we try to do fun things together...nothing is easy

[Shaz51]

@ritawilson,My husband is on dialysis, is this for the kidney

[ritawilson]

yes- so I am a carer for him as well... we do what we have to do. I wouldn't be able to have M live with us.. he is actually on his way over to have tea. He will eat, then leave straight away...We have had 4 phone calls from him today... I turn the phone off at night, otherwise he will ring anytime..2.30 am is common...we need the space

[Shaz51]

Helo @ritawilson

My husband has had Mental illness all his lfie

and I have kidney disease stage 4 and only one kidney

Hello @JoJo99, @soul, @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member