Evenings alone and the best ways to self-care

[Melanie-cat]

Hey there,

So... evenings and night times can be tough especially if we don't have a lover to snuggle up to. It seems to be when emotions are very strong and powerful, and work stress makes me want to turn myself inside out. It's hard to avoid using food and the internet to settle and distract my mind. Just wondering if anyone might like to share their ideas for what helps them to be calm and serene at times like this? For me the best thing is listening to meditation stuff, but I seem to resist that. Maybe something else has to happen first to even get me into a good enough state to be ABLE to sit quietly and listen. Anyway looking forward to some conversation on this topic.

[Gazza75]

Hi @Melanie-cat,

I am about to sign off for the night. Thanks for your post. There is a thread Coping Box that might help a little.

Nice to "Meet you ", If you. Press the @ you should be able to tag people like I did with you.

Take care 😁☕👍

[Melanie-cat]

Hi @Gazza75 , thank you for your friendly and helpful message. Sleep tight 🙂

[Gazza75]

Your welcome @Melanie-cat  hope to see you round the forums 😁😁☕☕🌺🌺

[Melanie-cat]

[greenpea]

@Melanie-cat  Hi Melanie-cat and Hi @Gazza75  if my mind cannot settle I hop on the forum Sane lol.... seriously talking with other people here I find to be so therapeutic. It really helps. You will often see me in the middle of the night talking away so if you cannot sleep Melanie-cat hop on and the pea will almost certainly be here :).

I also love going for walks . Night time walks are the best. I go very early around 4.30am with my 81 year old neighbour :o!  If you live in a safe area a walk around the block might just be the ticket for you especially since the days are getting longer and it is lighter in the evenings now. I hope this has helped a bit Love peaxx

[Appleblossom]

@Melanie-cat 

Like @greenpea I found talking on Sane helped me, a lot at night and even through the early hours of the morning.  I spent a year up at nights but felt more connected online than ever in my life, just being able to say it as it is.  That is not a luxury I have had.

Love your attitude.

Hell yes!

[Melanie-cat]

@Appleblossom  Thank you, I can see how great it would be to get some online support from all you lovely people, and I intend to do that. And thank you for the attitude compliment 🙂 I think a bit of moxie can give us a candle-flame's worth of fire as energy. I notice this site wouldn't let me write that something was 'p i s s i n g' me off, I had to rewrite it as pi**ing me off. I think this site and I may have differing ideas about the helpfulness of a little harmless profanity now and then. I will be finding creative ways around that (as above) and what a fun challenge that will be. As someone once said: 
"Dear Autocorrect, I have never in my life meant to say 'ducking'. " Hahaha 😄 😄 😄

@greenpea I like your idea about night walks. I haven't been able to do that over winter - too chilly of an evening - but it might be possible for the next 6 months. Thank you for the reminder. When it's too hard to make myself go, I have a friend who will stay on the phone with me for the first 5 or 10 minuites, as I do the 'one foot infront of the other' thing - if she isn't busy. Thank goddess for good friends. 🙂

[Denv12]

Hi @Melanie-cat .

I can relate to your problem as I live on my own too.Here are the things I do:

1)When I get up in the morning to start the day I go out to ther lounge and switch on the light and the radio.I'll switch on the tv an hour later.By having music on there's music.It helps.When I have the tv is on it just feels like I'm not on my own.There's something comforting about having the tv on but muted and the radio on.Unless I'm watching tv I'll unmute the tv.I have the radio on anywhy so I mute the tv when ads come on.

1)For feeling calm I use acupressure.Just a variety of pressure points you can rub gently to make you feel better.Allow 2 hours for that to work,that includes a variety of ailments too.There are pressure points you can touch and calm you down within seconds. About one finger width above the outer edge of each your eyebrows,(as if you had a headache and you were rubbing those spots),place 2 fingers on that spot until you feel calm.It should take up to 30 seconds.You'll know when its worked.Use it anytime you want.Its free.Anything thats free and you can look after yourself makes a difference. I also learnt Faster E.F.T via various videos,etc..

You can do an online search just to look at the acupressure charts.

1)Look up acupressure for self healing.

2)Look for Acupressure points for relieving........,click on that.

3)On the left side of page click on Acupressure Self Help List.

4)Look through any list of aiments.

5)Click on any you can relate to.

6)Those dots are the pressure points to gently rub.Start doing each one for about 60 seconds.Allow 2 hours for it kick in. I do mine 3 x a day.

As for sleeping,dream of being in a relationship.I do this and it helps.I think I might have write the book on it.

Using the internet is a good start.Its distracting when you live on your own.Reading books,writing anything helps,etc.Anything that keeps you busy.I'll gladly compare notes further.

Hope this helps.

Regards Denv12.

[Appleblossom]

Ha ha ...  @Melanie-cat I dunno about that one ... there was this tuff sheila who kept ducking me at the local pool ... she was jealous cos her bf liked me .. and I was tall for my age ... had not a clue wot was going on .... lucky I could swim and it made me keep my breathe for a longer ... I still do lots of breath work ... my life is heaps about sweetening lemons ...

Pofanity or not.  It is good to use the limits set in a creative way and not let it get to your personal sense of self. 

I had cleaned up my language early in my life and mostly keep it that way for work, so when I was misinterpreted because they had an American dictionary of forbidden terms I worked with community managers who agreed with me.  I was saying ho ho ho ...  so I just continue with whatever I wanted to say, knowing I was not being mean or nasty.

Some people get very upset.  I knew it was just a computer program and no point letting the machine win.

Sometimes attitude helps. 

Sometimes its just real connections that cant be fabricated by intention, just experience. 

For me it was reminiscing about a venue I went to 40 years ago....

See you around