Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Kisia]

@Shaz51 any interesting thoughts about the idea of reclaiming your life, as your earlier message said that was on your mind?

[DAW]

Hello, I am new to this forum - My daughter 20 has recently survived a suicide attempt, she is at home with my husband and I. I have no idea if she will attempt to take her life again, I have subtlety asked her and am available to listen and support her 24/7. How do I get past the terror of finding her again compromised. She has been diagnosed with BP, she receives professional therapy and is on medication. 

[Sanefan]

WOOPS! I've only logged on now and have missed out on contributing, but looking forward to reading all participant's comments. Cheers! Sanefan

[Kisia]

@Shaz51Well I realised I identified as my mums carer. My life revolved around her. I was maintaining my wellbeing to ensure I was well enough to care for her. My choice of study, work, address, holidays, ect all were based around her and ensuring I was still able to support her or better able to support her. So I realised that was half the problem. Her illness had taken me with it and my relationship with her and I was perpetuating that. So I started to look at what my life was made up of and making sure I put more attention into the other areas of my life, or the parts I had stopped doing.

We do this activity where you draw a circle and make it into a pie with 8 even sections. Each section represents a different aspect of your life. One if being a carer. Then from the centre you mark 0 and as you go out to the outside you mark 0-10. The rate yourself in each area over how you are going. When I started I was putting most of my time and resources into my mum and not so much in the other domains. Ideally you want a rough circle around a 5 mark on all areas. But it helped me see the areas I had forgotten about, but you cant increase one area without giving yourself the permission to decrease another. So I dropped back my weekend visits with my mum from weekly to fortnightly so I could do something on the off weekend... that sort of thing.

[Shaz51]

Hi @Kisia

I have found the SANE Forum sooo helpful

as I am thinking about that questions , I am reclaiming my life but very slowly over the years

I don`t know if this is right or wrong thing to do but My husband needs time to accept changes in his life

[waves]

No answers, no tips.

Each day try to make your way.

And each day try to change the script to something more positive... no matter what.. Look up at the clouds, the sky, listen to the birds, find a way to keep on keeping on.

For me in the short run, I do what I can and realize what I cannot do.

in the long run, I try to be a community activist with the Greens and with the mental health community.. better health for all as well as me and my family.

[Kisia]

Hi @DAW Im glad you joined the forum. Honestly thats going to take time. We dont expect a person who has witnessed a car accident to be ok shortly after, and you witnessed something traumatic. Firstly I would say make sure YOU are getting help, get someone to talk to a counsellor, do the things that build your resiliency so that you dont develop something like PTSD or depression. That will help calm the nerves a little too. Then as a precaution get your First Aid certificat- its good anyway and will help you feel you have the skills to cope if anything might happen. Lastly I would say keep that open communication with your daughter.

[Shaz51]

Yes @waves, one day at a time

[Kisia]

Welcome @Sanefan what are your thoughts on Family Recovery (or carer recovery) how ever you would refer to it

[NikNik]

@Sanefan - you're still welcome to contribute 🙂 We're going for another 45 mins