Lived Experience Forum

[Indigostone]

I'm currently at a hens weekend away and ive just told my friend (one of the couple) that I can't stay and need to go home because my anxiety is getting too much being around so many people. They were obviously upset and as understanding as they could be, but im very upset because im sure if it was a physical/visbible injury, id get a different reaction. But also this person is my only friend i have left.

I've lived with anxiety all my life but since covid and working from home, I have found it extremely hard to deal with leaving the house, which doesnt help as i live alone. The start of last year i experienced some very bad depression where i almost lost my job (now working in the office) but was fortunate to have a kind and understanding manager who fought to keep me on board. There was three months where i felt much better after having some therapy and starting medication for the first-time ever. But then suddenly I was over taken by depression again and even diagnosed with mild agoraphobia. 

Anyway, I've isolated myself from pretty much everyone. I have people i talk to at work an family, but no one knows how bad my depression and anxiety affects me. Its gotten to the point where it has become unbearable, but i can't do anything.

Im just so upset i let my friend down. I try so hard to get better but nothing is working. I just seem to get worse. 

[tyme]

Hey @Indigostone ,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing.

I can see things were bad for you, then got better, but now things are hard again. Have you been able to speak to your GP or a professional about the changes you’ve noticed? 

Im sorry you have been isolating yourself. It sounds like it is affecting you.

What would you ideally want to see change? I’m here if you need a chat.

[Asgard]

Hi @Indigostone 

Thanks for your post, it takes guts to leave yourself open like that.  I went through a mild version of what you have described, for some reason I would invent excuses for not going outside, it got so that I kept putting off even going for grocery shopping.

In the end I spoke with a good friend of mine and together we go shopping together.

Do you have a friend who you can really talk to.

I so understand you, but just believe you are a strong person

Best regards

🙂