Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Oby46]

I feel totally exhausted and defeated after a long relationship with somebody suffering severe depression. It was a difficult and challenging relationship but at the same time it was so rewarding for us both. Losing her feels extremely unfair after the struggles we endured together.

[Zahlia]

Hi @Oby46

I can see you are new to the forums, so I just want to give you a big, warm WELCOME 🙂 
I hope you find the forums a place of support and comfort.

It sounds like you put a lot into this relationship, and are very sad to see it gone? 

[Oby46]

Thank you I have been a bit comforted today reading other posts and trying to put my own situation in perspective.

Very sad indeed. I put everything into the relationship.

[Zahlia]

I'm so sorry to hear that things could not work out, no matter how hard you tried. Did you partner get help for their depression? 

[Shaz51]

Hello @Oby46 , how are you today my friend

[Oby46]

She did get help, some good some bad. Getting her to seek help in the first place was always hard but I know that is very common with people who suffer. I was always careful not to push her into anything though.

She takes medication which definitely helps but it isn't a cure by any stretch.

She was getting great help through a clinic that specialises in treatment for depression for a while and her depression episodes were getting much less frequent and severe for about 12 months but a small set back was all it took for her to give that up.

In general whenever she was getting regular help from a professional, either psychiatrist or clinical psychologist, she appeared to suffered much less and would often say so at the time. Later her memory would be less positive and she would downplay things.

More recently she sought help from somewhat questionable places. Psychics and online tarot readings for example. I am dubious about those. Dubious is probably an understatement. I think those avenues are at best only delaying proper treatment and quite possibly doing more harm than good.

I have little if any influence these days so I just cross my fingers and hope she find better treatment sooner rather than later.

[Oby46]

Sorry @Shaz51 I didn't notice your question earlier.

It has been almost 6 months and I still have days where I worry about her and wish I was able to do something for her. Yesterday was one of those days.

[Shaz51]

Hello @Oby46

I read your comments from yesterday , it is tricky , one day at a time my friend

Keep in touch , you are not alone , my husband was on anti depressant which never helped until they put him on anti axiety meds as well but he still has lots of ups and downs everyday but not like years ago

so sending you strenght hugs for you , and I still worry in the back of my mind "what If " this happens again but we need to be strong and to look after ourselves as well , if we don`t look after ourselves we can`t look after others