Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Former-Member @Little_Leopard @Evie_3 @Claire26Bob @encee ,

@encee , Welcome to our little BPD community here. For anyone who wants to know more - not just for those with BPD.

 Well folks, I was at work today (I’m a teacher) and I can’t believe how much I love my job. It really made me reflect on how far I’ve come since the beginning of treatment until now. It’s only been a few years since treatment and things have just gotten better and better. 

Although I had been living with BPD for closer to 15 years, the crunch came when I finally surrendered to treatment. Not that it was physically imposed on me, but more that I was now ready and willing to put in 110% to get better.

 My BPD journey has made me a much more compassionate person. It’s made me a much better teacher and it gives me a real heart to care for all the children I teach. 

Im not sure I’m in right, but I feel that those with BPD have a tendency to be drawn to help people once they recover. What do you all think?

At the same time, I’m getting reading for this year’s BPD Awareness Week to be held 1-7th Oct. It’s a week I absolutely look forward to. I’ll keep you updated about this year’s special events.

 The BPD journey is not easy, but it’s one worth living for!

 Just hold on and fight through that emotional pain. I acknowledge the pain, the void and a deep lack of self identity. But once you heal, there’s no stopping you.

We can do it!

[encee]

Thanks so much @tyme for tagging me in this one.

@BPDSurvivor Thank-you for creating such a space.

@BPDSurvivor I’m so, so happy to read how much you love your job and how much better things have gotten for you since getting the right support and help.

I’ve been trying to get myself help for my “issues” since 2017 and have only just been diagnosed BPD in Feb this year. I’m pretty deflated at the moment about it as I’m feeling so let down by doctors and experts who are meant to be there to help and work things out with you. In my experience, unfortunately, all they’ve done is lead me around the mulberry bush 500 times. After seeing a psychiatrist and being diagnosed, I’ve been doing more and more research and really seeing how stigmatised BPD is, it’s got me so down. Especially because I was dumped just before being diagnosed for “being too much”.

I would absolutely agree that people with BPD have a tendency to help others, even before recovery. It’s definitely something I struggle with. I always want to help everyone else and be there for everyone else, well above being there for myself or helping myself. I feel like I’m just so broken and there’s no fixing me so the least I could do is help others if I can.

Even though I’ve only just found this community last night, I already feel so welcome and so excited to be part of this moving forward. I’m so keen to see what BPD awareness week will bring.

Although right now I feel totally overwhelmed and terribly sad, your words are so powerful and have given me a little hope, that is otherwise never there. It’s really nice finding people who understand and not just blame me for being “psycho”.

❤️

[encee]

Wow, oh wow @Former-Member  

That analogy hit me so hard. Such powerful words.

Sitting here reading this thread, I can’t stop crying, because I’ve finally spotted the faint glow of a lit ciggie.

Omg. I’m not alone and this is so surreal!

[BPDSurvivor]

You are definitely not alone @encee - I have felt the isolation, the loneliness, the rage, the emptiness, the hopelessness and the emotional torture that comes with BPD.

And I have also felt the connection, the joy, the satisfaction and energy that comes with BPD.

I remember saying to people in my MBT group therapy that my life may seem like a bed of roses, but roses have thorns. If you want the good, you must be willing to take the not-so-good. This was a real learning for me. All my life, I avoided situations because I couldn’t trust people and didn’t want to get hurt. But that also meant I missed out on the joys that come with it.

@encee , if you’re ready to put in the hard work, BPD recovery is just around the corner. Recovery is about working to deliberately change the way you think so that you can find more helpful ways. And medication can’t do this. It is practice practice practice with tears tears tears. 

As I look back today, these forums have meant the world to me. They given me a second chance of life because i felt connection and belonging here. I felt heard. I felt I could practice my social skills here - and I did. There was no judgment. People didn’t look down on me as an ‘attention seeker’ or ‘manipulative’. I had a voice here and felt liberty in that having BPD was totally okay.  

I then later transferred these online skills to every life, and voila! The world became my oyster. I could and can do anything I want!

And you CAN too!

If any time you find your self in a sticky BPD situation, we’re happy to read about it. Maybe we’re can share perspectives - this is also part of the recovery process.

I am here for you @encee @Former-Member @Little_Leopard @Evie_3 @Claire26Bob 

[Little_Leopard]

Hey @BPDSurvivor  I like the point you made to @encee about the forums being a secure place to feel accepted and to practice all your new skills. This is so true I think for everyone who uses these forums. We are all here for each other. Even if we have different challenges we all understand and have empathy for how hard it really is to live chronic MH conditions.

@encee There is absolutely effective and powerful life changing help as @BPDSurvivor  and many other BPD survivors can attest. It’s about being ready and motivated to put your everything into it because it is hard, very very hard. But it’s also life changing and worth the hard work.

Don’t worry about stigma. Worry about focusing on your healing journey so you can get healthy and live a happy life. No one but your relevant treating professionals need to know about your diagnosis. People in your support groups will know so it won’t be an secret you hold by yourself, and maybe you can tell some close family friends who you trust that may be attending some family sessions as part of your therapy. and later down the track when you learn to have healthy relationships with good boundaries you may feel it is right and safe to disclose then.

[Former-Member]

@encee It feels like that sometimes, doesn't it? This forum is a great place to start the healing process. For me, reading about the ups and downs, the good days and bad days living with BPD, has helped me see myself in others and also share my own experiences with it. It's a place to lay your burdens down and be supported. You deserve it! 

[BPDSurvivor]

@Former-Member @Little_Leopard @encee ,

Thank you for posting. I really enjoy reading other people’s perspectives on things.

I isolated myself for many years. BPD coupled with depression and anxiety caused me to stay home under the covers for fear of getting hurt by people or me hurting them. I was too afraid to socialise incase either got hurt.

These forums allowed me to come out from under the covers and start “talking” to people. So much so, that now, no one would ever think I had social anxiety and a deficit in social skills. On these forums, I felt I could engage with people who were real and not just putting on a front. These were real people all with their own stories to tell.

Even up to this day, I prefer written communication over face to face. However, hopefully, I’ll be more comfortable with the in-person communication. It’s not that I can’t do it, it’s just not a preference. I’m fact, I do it at work everyday.

Dont get me wrong, it was always easy on the forums. There were times when I was caught up in conflict with other members. Those who had a different viewpoint. I see that as totally okay, but some people get triggered if it is shared. It was great that the moderators stepped in and sorted it out. I took this as another learning opportunity for me.

Nowadays, my life is so full and satisfying. I am so grateful for everything life has thrown at me. And trust me, I have been in terrible ways with my BPD. It would be too traumatic for people to read if I dared to share. At that point, i never thought I’d live to see another day. Every day was touch and go. 

The reason I’m sharing is because I am no way better than anyone else. If healing could come to such as sad, desperate case as myself, then there’s hope for all.

Just keep clinging to what you believe in, and be ready for the ride ahead. I’m here to support all of you as someone who has been through the mill.

Please take care.

[Little_Leopard]

Me to @BPDSurvivor .

The forums have just been a wonderful learning experience. But also a much needed example of what safety looks like. 

I noticed the moderators and most members (especially the ones that have been around for awhile) are very open to differing or even extreme viewpoints.

You can say things on this forum that you could never say on social media. People just listen! And that’s what I love about this place. You can share your stories and feelings and views without feeling like 1000 hammers are coming down on you. everyone is given their own space and respect to be who they are in the moment. 
and yes, like you said, sometimes the moderators may have to step in. That’s ok and that is needed sometimes, but only happens when absolutely necessary. 

The world would be much more safer place if everybody was as accepting, compassionate understanding and and willing to hold space for others like they are here on the forums.

 
You have come so far @BPDSurvivor. you are an inspiration those who are still roughing it out.

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Little_Leopard @Former-Member @encee @Evie_3 @Claire26Bob @Needhope ,

 Long time no ‘see’. Thanks for you post @Little_Leopard - so lovely to read.

 The forums really have been an inspiration for me. It sort of normalised my mental health. My whole life I was suppressed because having MH issues was not ‘cool’. In fact, it wasn’t spoken about. 

Even in the corporate world, back then, MH meant you were prey for all those out there waiting to devour the weak. Sad reality really. And it meant you never dared show weakness. I held it so well at work but I was an emotional wreck inside.

As soon as I got home, the real me came out. The one I couldn’t even stand out understand myself.

BPD was such a bumpy road. Moods flipped in seconds. Not even I was prepared.

 Thinking back, I honestly should have been dead with all the stuff I did.

I still can’t believe I am alive today. 
I still can’t believe how much I love life now.

I can only live in amazement and wow that I’m here today to tell my BPD story.

 My life now is a million times better than it ever was.

 For all you out there, just hold on. Don’t let go. Including carers. Your borderlines need you. They may not know how to show it, but they love you deeply.

[Little_Leopard]

Good to ‘see’ you to @BPDSurvivor. 

I do tend to pop in and out of the forums. Haven’t seen you for quite a while. Glad to hear your doing well!