Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Faith-and-Hope , hope you are okay. I see that you are online right now… just like me.

[Former-Member]

Thank you @BPDSurvivor . I've just been reading through the comments and it's so illuminating. The similarities we all share is mind blowing! I feel so heard and understood here, I've truly never experienced that before.

Thank you @tyme , @Little_Leopard . I wasn't feeling the greatest last night. You know I can't even remember posting those comments, I thought it was someone else when I saw the email notification this morning. I was going to reply to my own comment! 🤣

[BPDSurvivor]

Likewise @Former-Member . I feel illuminated reading your posts too. It is certainly so comforting to know that a a small 'insignificant' thing can turn a borderline from death's door.

I had a good day today. Kids bring me so much joy. I listened to talk-back radio today. A caller phoned and said that as a teacher, they'd never put aside teaching to take up a job that pays $30k more, purely because the joy on students' faces is priceless.

This is what I felt today.

I gave the kids a project where they had to make a boat out of foil. They then placed marbles in the boat and had to count how many marbles the boat could hold before sinking. The kids had so much fun. I just had fun watching them.

Kids are my protective factor. It keeps me alive.

What's your protective factor @Former-Member ?

[Little_Leopard]

Wow @tyme  thanks for sharing and confirming my suspicions. That sounds like a really shot experience.  No wonder anxieties and depressions are basically always co morbid with MH. If it’s not hard enough to have MH conditions and have societal stigma. We also have to cop discrimination and judgment from the very people who are suppose to help us. 

I saw a Twitter post from a lawyer with BPD. She said when she told her colleagues about her BPD the first thing they all did was say sorry and ask her what kind of work she was going to move on into. 
I mean how shitty must that have been. She was a champ though as told them she wasn’t going anywhere. So much self pride and determination from her. She said her BPD helped her to be a better lawyer because she had more empathy, understanding and drive for her clients because of the BPD. 

I think you gotta learn to have thick skin with MH and really learn to keep getting back up. You really have to be willing disagree with society and pave your own path. You have to cull/limit the negative judgemental people and choose to surround yourself with supportive and compassionate people. 

[Little_Leopard]

So glad your feeling better @Former-Member. your honestly is a breath of fresh air. Somethings you just gotta say what you see.

[Former-Member]

@Little_Leopard thank you. I get so worried about saying the wrong thing usually, because I don't want to deliberately offend anyone. The interesting thing with BPD is that when I have an episode, I speak from the heart. I don't know why it is that BPD sets me free in a way. It is very interesting. 

[Little_Leopard]

@Former-Member Yeah I understand the constant fear of speaking your mind. I think you just gotta say what you mean, and if others get offended, you need to allow them to be responsible for their own emotions. If you start to take responsibility for other people‘s reactions, then you are essentially, giving them permission to control you and what you say. those are my thoughts anyway. I simply don’t speak to people who aren’t willing to listen and be open, as long as I’m coming from a place of truth and honesty and genuineness then no one should try to stop me from being me.

Actually makes sense that you feel like your “true self” during an episode. When the body is triggered and feels unsafe, parts of the frontal cortex (responsible for thought and control) goes off-line while the reptilian brain (natural survival instinct) gets activated. So there’s less consideration/planning and more impulse/action. It’s an extremely powerful and visceral response to perceived danger

[Former-Member]

@Little_Leopard  'If you start to take responsibility for other people‘s reactions, then you are essentially, giving them permission to control you and what you say.'

That is such a powerful statement. It so applies to me. I've been in the people pleasing mode for my whole life and had totally lost myself. Slowly, I'm dipping my feet into the new world of not needing to be liked by everybody. I only compromise myself doing that.

That information you shared about what happens during an BPD episode is so spot on! You hit the nail on the head. Now I understand why I do what I do.

I'm not crazy at all!

I'm functioning how I'm supposed to. We are programmed for survival, social conditioning doesn't change that. 

Thank you so much.

[Little_Leopard]

Thanks @Former-Member for your kind words and experience that you are sharing with me.

Absolutely. We all need to be responsible for our own actions. We are not responsible for the actions of others. I feel like us mental health folk cop all of the responsibility and blame in relationships. Yeah sure we have our struggles and really big issues that we face every day of our lives. BUT that is not an excuse or a get out of free jail card for other people to constantly point the finger at us and victim blame us.

The truth is that studies show that people with psychosocial disability are a far more likely to experience every type of abuse and neglect compared to those who don’t have psychosocial disability. So there you have it.  Just because we have MH doesn’t mean we are the bad ones. We are actually more vulnerable to exploitation and abuse because of our disabilities. Not the other way around. 

Although I am not a BPD person I do suffer severe emotional dysregulation and trust issues which present in a very extreme manner. So yep I understand emotional dysregulation can 100% empathise with splitting and can completely understand how overwhelming and real that experience is.

No you are not crazy. MH can create extra barriers, problems and struggles that we need to constantly address and take care of. MH is hard work and draining in my experience. My MH is part of me which means I work with it. I can’t get rid of it, but I can try to reduce any negative impacts on my life through therapy medication and self-care. 

I agree with you 100% that social conditioning is not helpful to us. A lot of societies social constructs cause the inflammation of our condition. Actually, in my family, disability and psychosocial disability, were frowned upon and savagely mocked. Disability of any kind was seen as an intrinsic personal flaw. For people with severe emotional dysregulation, this is literally the opposite of what we need in order to feel safe and happy and thrive.

It’s love and compassion all the way for me. If somebody is abusive or inappropriate or triggering to me, I just won’t involve them in my life. That is what it takes for me. That is what my mental health condition requires of me if I want to take care of myself and be as stable as possible and present for the people in my life who do care about me.

I am like you in this way @Former-Member. I am still learning good boundaries and how to protect myself and take better care of myself. I, like you, am learning that I don’t need every person to like me. It’s better to have one person who is good for me than to have 100 people who are who a bad fit. I can still be kind and compassionate to everybody in the world, but the people or person who are that close to my heart, must be somebody who is a good fit for me. Has to be equal give-and-take and mutual respect, and a genuine desire to be in the relationship from both of us. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

👋💕 @BPDSurvivor ….. sorry I missed your earlier post.  I have been running on empty for a while now, and needed to wrap up my semester submissions, so I have been making flash visits to the forums most days.  It was lovely to sign in tonight and find your message though ….. hugs x