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26-07-2016 08:37 PM
26-07-2016 08:37 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Recovering our families // NOW OPEN
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26-07-2016 08:41 PM
26-07-2016 08:41 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Recovering our families // NOW OPEN
For me the title 'Recovering our families' brings up for me recognition that it's not just the relationship between me and the member of the family I care for, but also my relationship with the rest of the family - and ensuring I keep those relationships strong too.
Is that a common challenge for families?
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26-07-2016 08:42 PM
26-07-2016 08:42 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Recovering our families // NOW OPEN
Thank you @Kisia
dont want to talk about thier troubles because they dont want to "burden" their loved one, worry about the impact of their worries on their loved one. Want to protect their loved one -- also about your comment too goes for the children
I have 4 step children who are adults now and they don`t know everything about their dad
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26-07-2016 08:45 PM
26-07-2016 08:45 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Recovering our families // NOW OPEN
I found the biggest things that stopped me from recovering myself were things I told myself (and were completely untrue).
- I cant focus on myself because I have to be there for them when they need me - Turns out being there too much meant my mum thought I thought she couldnt do it herself. It also meant she never learnt how to do it herself. Now we talk about the risks, I tell her my worries about something and say I trust and believe in her if that is what she want to do but let her know a plan if it doesnt work (ideally we come up with the plan together or in the case of suicide ect I just tell her what I will do regardless of what she says).
- Im not the one hurting - Thats not true and it turns out that this made my mum feel angry that I "didnt trust her", "didnt think she could do things herself", "thought I was better than her", and meant she lost her relationship to me of parent because I wouldnt let her be in that role.
- Im fine - Sometimes true but most times we just dont let ourselves stop and reflect. If in a counselling session or at a carer training session you are completely fine then great, however most people realise at those times that they too need support, information or just a little emotional boost.
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26-07-2016 08:47 PM
26-07-2016 08:47 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Recovering our families // NOW OPEN
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26-07-2016 08:48 PM
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26-07-2016 08:52 PM
26-07-2016 08:52 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Recovering our families // NOW OPEN
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26-07-2016 08:52 PM
26-07-2016 08:52 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Recovering our families // NOW OPEN
Im still working on that with my family. Its taken many years, tears and hard conversations for me to learn that they have had a hard time too. Many of my cousins went told about what was going on and there was a lot of guilt, fear and hurt by all members. Slowly we are building that bridge again. Some of us talk more than others, some are more open but for the first time in almost 20 years my uncle is talking to my mum again. Thats something I never thought would happen and is all about him healing.
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26-07-2016 08:53 PM
26-07-2016 08:53 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Recovering our families // NOW OPEN
*rings a bell*
About 10 mins left for tonight's session. If anyone has any other questions for @Kisia please be sure to post soon 🙂
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26-07-2016 08:55 PM
26-07-2016 08:55 PM