Lived Experience Forum

[NatureLover]

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@Pippyl wrote:

@NatureLover  I don't think info will help coz she actually doesn't care. I'm actually feeling quite suicidal right now it feels the only option I feel I have too much mess to sort leaving here I can't look after my child I can't escape my own mind I don't feel I have the guts to follow through but I have tried in the past. Living like this is impossible 

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I'm sorry your mum doesn't care, @Pippyl . And I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling quite suicidal. Do you know the helpline numbers? 

Lifeline 13 11 14 (they also have web chat)

Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467

Please call or message them if you are in need of crisis counselling...

I'm also going to tag a @Former-Member, as I'm concerned for you.

I feel you've managed well before, you've fought in court, you can come back from this and be strong again, @Pippyl , even though it doesn't feel like it at the moment. 

Sending you a warm hug...please hold on...

[Dad6]

I'm new to this to and not sure how to even post something without replying to someones post i suffer paranoid skitzaphrenia and depression and anxiety and stress really plays on my illness im a singe dad of 6 with 5 still at home their all great kids but lost their mum and my soul mate to suicide in 2012 they are still all suffering with the grief and  loss of tgeir mum we are a very tight tribe and love is bountiful but 3 out of 6 hsve attempted suicide in the last 8 years one just last fri my daughter 17yo airlifted to hospital and is ok but the system has let her down every time she has had at least 6 attempts I'm so scared she will succeed which is bound to happen she was let out of hospital the next day with nothing but a referal I don't know how long I've got to get her the help she needs meds are a key part of her recovery but are having tough time getting the right ones for her anyways I could go on and on but just need some support @Dad6

[NatureLover]

Hi and welcome, @Dad6 , it's good you've joined for some peer support 🙂

I'm very sorry to hear all you're battling with daily...it sounds extremely difficult. I'm very sorry for your loss of your wife, and your 3 children's struggles with suicide attempts. 😞

There are actually 2 forums on SANE, one is this Lived Experience Forum, where you can get peer support for your own struggles with mental illness, and one is called the Friends, Family and Carers Forum , where you can get peer support from other carers. So you could post your worries about your daughter's care there, if you like... 

To start a new thread of your own, you can go to either forum, click on one of the sections (e.g. Our Stories, or Something's Not Right), and then click on the green button labelled New Discussion.

I hope you find the forums supportive. 🙂

[Remi]

Hello @Pippyl 

I am new here also and just wanted to offer support and best wishes. I hope you are feeling connected and understood.

I feel for you on lockdown. 

Stay strong

[Faith-and-Hope]

Welcome to the forums @Dad6 ....

This thread is one in the Carers side of the forums:

Parents Supporting Unwell Adult Children 

Please come and meet some other carers ..... you are welcome on both sides and you clearly need support around your own challenges too.

Hi @Remi and welcome to the forums 👋

[outlander]

sending love @Pippyl

welcome also @Remi and @Dad6 i hope you find being here helpful

[BPDSurvivor]

@Dad6 ,

It sure does sound difficult at the moment. I can see you are going through a deep valley at the moment and it's good you are reaching out for support.

 Do you have supports in place for yourself or your children? I know you mentioned your daughter being let down by the system. Are you under an Area Mental Health Team who can provide support for you and perhaps your family?

 Please do not feel you are alone in this.

BPDSurvivor

[utopia]

@Pippyl just read your first post.

Sometimes the best thing is to simply feel connected to others who understand you. This Forum is great for offering that.

I hope you meet some like minded people soon.

[Pippyl]

Hi again,

i disappeared coz I went into hospital and then I thought this sites not for me. It's confusing but thought I should try again.

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope  @NatureLover for your replies.

Haf lots going on, abuse has escalated to the point I've considered going to court, I don't want to share publicly but it was bad. I've been trying really hard to find a place, it's all I'm focused on at the moment from keeping me going downhill again. I'm still not well but not really suicidal as I'm focused on houses but it's frustrating.im wanting to build or buy brand new and I'm worried I'll miss out on the builders grant which ends in vic at end of yr. I'm looking in areas I wouldn't consider, I'm looking to blow my budget, looking at places I don't really like all for the desperation to leave and my daughter too is begging me she's been really affected and I'm worried she won't ever recover. I get so frustrated and angry she thinks I'm angry with her coz she's so used to everyone being angry 24/7 I remind her I'm not angry with her and I'm hurting for what we go through. More abuse again today and really it's all day every day. With my ex it came in waves there were loving moments which I know were fake but looking back felt like heaven compared to this. The abuse/honeymoon period cycle is better than 24/7 cycle. Never in 5 yrs have I thought it's better with my ex! I feel I sacrificed everything for 'safety' and it was pointless it's worse here I jus want my forever home everyone deserves a place to feel safe and I never have. The OCD improved but now getting worse again. I literslly can't touch anything it's on my mind 24/7 I think the main reason I want to build is for this reason now I'm thinking about builders using my toilet not washing hands having to clean everything. It's also driving me to find a place I fantasize about moving in literally cleaning everything we own and I know it's so unreasonable and impractical I need help with it. I know I jus want a sense of control in my life and I wonder what stops me then when I try so hard I achieve nothing so it's hard to try again. There's no reason why I can't achieve my dreams and raise my child on my own. Living here is the only reason I feel inadequate. After what happened recently I will be divorcing my parents and I won't change my mind in time. They aren't good for us. They torture on purpose then ask us what's wrong! I think they enjoy it. I remember I spoke to someone here with OCD sorry I can't remember who it was. My daughter watches me and is becoming like me to the point everyone cracks it at her and become abusive, but she's jus venting her frustrations. I try to bite my tongue and not telling her to wash her hands or some OCD thing. I think my mums made me like this on purpose in the filth we live in that I've taken it to the extreme I hate it.I can only deal with everyone for 5 mins coz I get too stressed incl her. She feels unloved.

hi @Dad6 I'm so sorry to hear your story. Makes me feel I shouldn't complain. Raising 6 on your own must be tough and with mental illness and grief and trauma you are a superstar! How is your daughter now? I worry if I decide this, my daughter would do the same. I worry about it jus from all she's experienced and she's only little still. How old is she? Is she in counseling? I think it would be good for her and meds. I'm sure there's a lot she hasn't processed. When things happen and we don't process, we find other ways whether it's work, drugs, grog, relationships and then were left with 2 problems that's what I find with me. I wish I understood the core issues before so I wouldn't be in this mess. Another thing that may help her is looking after yourself, are you in counseling? It's ok to fall apart after what you been through. My ex isn't in our lives, so she feels a loss and I'm failing to be a stable single parent now knowing I won't be getting support from my parents. so sorry to take so long to respond to you I hope you get this! 

[Pippyl]

Hi @Remi  @utopia and thanks also @outlander for your response. Refer to above post in regards to update