Lived Experience Forum

[Rockdog]

Thanks @tyme 

Hope you are going well. I really appreciate having you on my side. I just hope I can get ready for things to happen. You think they are tracking faster than expected. You are so right apprehension does make you look back for reasons of no. It is such a weird roller coaster. There were a lot of reasons for yes as well, and I feel that deep down in my heart. 

[tyme]

Yes @Rockdog . It may SEEEM slow for you, but I actually think things are tracking so fast. And that if you aren't ready, it'll fly past you!

So just keep moving forward. Have you heard from the agency? When does your course start?

[Rockdog]

Hi @tyme 

Hope you are going well. The course starts in June. I am still putting together my documents to register for Mable. I also have gotten some work doing lawn mowing/gardening. I am a bit worried that that might be drifting me off track, and yes what if I miss it? What if she has moved on? What if I have ruined it? All these questions. But you can’t ruin destiny can you? I will try my best to be ready. I think I’m getting on a better track. I wasn’t at all ready last year. I’m a little better this year, but still not right. How can I make myself ready? 

[tyme]

Just get on track in order to get yourself ready @Rockdog . 

I'm glad you are not sitting idle and you are doing some mowing.

That's really good. 

You haven't been ready yet, so you can't have missed it.

[Rockdog]

Hi @tyme 

I have not been ready at all. It is weird but I thought just having a job was ok. But having the wrong one wasn’t ok, I guess it just worries me that destiny  might have decided I won’t be the one.

Are you thinking we will just randomly meet somewhere when the time is right? 
She still isn’t allowed to get in touch with me is she? 

[tyme]

Yes. She will fall into your path @Rockdog 

And yes, having the RIGHT job is what will help you move forward.

I hope you get your papers sorted for Mabel too.

[Rockdog]

Hi @tyme 

Thank you. Hope you have a great weekend. Talk soon. 

[Rockdog]

Hi @tyme 

Hope you have a good Easter. Do you have any plans? 

Do you think sometimes we need to go backwards to move forward?

Like you say, I don’t want to miss the opportunity, but I’m in a really bad situation at the moment. I have been cutting lawns. Not my future.Hopefully things improve soon. Maybe it was part of the plan, the other job was never going to get me to that place.

Do you think she has moved on though? 

[tyme]

Hey @Rockdog ,

I had a really good break. I spent a lot of time with the kids. 

As for going backwards to go forwards? Yes. I think a lot of people experience this. For example, without you having fallen into a slump of depression, you'd probably never realise you didn't want to stay that way.

I also hit rock bottom before I started going upwards. And it was the hardest rock bottom I could ever have experienced.

People move on? Yes they do. Yes they follow what's meant for them.

And you are right, the other job was pretty 'toxic' if you don't mind me saying. You needed this break to realise. And your course starts soon too. That's something to prepare for.

Just keep looking forward.

[Rockdog]

Hi @tyme ,

Glad you had a good Easter, and spent time with the kids. Hope you had fun with Easter eggs. I’m really glad you got through your low point. 

You don’t think she has moved on from me?   

Some people have said she would have called after 2 years if she was interested. But I think we said she still couldn’t and it will need to be fate.

That how it would need to be wouldn’t it?

Anyway I’ve still got a lot of work to go. 
I guess if I get to be a counsellor, would I be in a similar field? Then I might get to talk to her.