Lived Experience Forum

[Powderfinger]

Impossible to know where it all went wrong, why we aren't together anymore. It hasn't been two weeks yet since she left. I had a look at pictures of us together today. I wanted to see her face. In all the photos, we are both beaming. Seemingly happy. I ask myself what happened. It's painful to look at them, yet somehow maybe the only real thing left. 

It's hard. Of course we don't talk. Had to let her know today there's some mail here for her. I hated it. Part of me was wishing that I could just hear her car pull into the driveway and she would walk in the door once again. I guess all the things you once had is hard to come to terms with the fact that you don't have them anymore. 

I have lately been feeling that perhaps what we did have meant more to me than it did to her. And if it did mean a heck of a lot to her, I wished fought harder to save our relationship and what we had. The thought that I may just not have been worth it to her or not enough for her upsets me so much. There's no way for me to get answers. Not now. 

It's just a deep ache in me, so much confusion and I do struggle to continue on everyday. I always loved our time together, cause it was with her. We had very hard times too, I haven't forgotten. Some part of me thought that with what we had that we would make it through. Very sadly, it's not the case and I cannot reconcile with the pain of that right now. 

Powderfinger. 

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Thank you for sharing @Powderfinger 

❤